Bish You (waitforitwaitforitwaitforit) GUESSSED IT!
by Jamie Rice
I think my life is finally starting to settle itself down into a nice state of normalcy. I mean maybe I do spend most of my time in either my room or the library or at the bar, but hey! People do that shit on sitcoms all of the time and they are generally awesome. I’m kind of like this! Or this:
But I’ve actually come to a simultaneously awesome and terrifying realization: I am totally on own. And that’s great for the following reasons:
1. I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT
2. I AM FREE TO GO WHEREVER I WANT
3. I CAN DRINK AS MUCH AS I WANT
I’ll stop here because basically this is just a list of things that I get to do because I am free. FREE KARINA. MY LIBERTY IS STRONG. Do you want an example of how goddamn fucking American free I am, Karine. (I know you do homie.) OKAY FINE. I will give it to you.
Yesterday, I had a meeting with Rachel and this other girl named Madeline (who is awesome) to discuss collaborating on Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and I got a goddamn beer. Cause guess what? It was 5 o’clock, and I’m a goddamn American adult. So I did that, and then Rachel and I got dinner. So I had another beer. (I want you to realize that right at this moment I realized that I had a pre-dinner cocktail a la Mad Men and that I am really excited about that)
And then I went back to the bar and guess what Karina? I opened a tab and drank two more beers and did my work! I drank while working (wow the Mad Men references are just really flowing today). But I think I am doing a lot better than the last time I gave you an update on my manic state of mind.
However, I also have to say that I can tell that I am just covering up a lot of my emotions a lot of the time, which is totally uncool. And I was kind of wondering why I do that. I think it is because I am the kind of person that feeeeels. Like when I feel something, it is everything to me. I wake up in the morning and I stare out my window or at my ceiling fan (whichever one is more poignant) at the time and I just have a sexy french depression about it. (That is a reference to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend which you know is my new favorite show)
But while I may be feeling this way I do have to say that it’s really not a bad thing. I’ve been avoiding feeling anything for a really long time, so it was kind of inevitable that this shit would come in like a wrecking ball in my last semester and force me to rejoin the feeling human population. So I will not be afraid. I will face my damn fears. Emotions. I will feel them. I resolve to feel you.
Otherwise, shit has been pretty lit. I’ve been getting in touch with myself and spending more time alone. My poor little-extroverted heart doesn’t always like it, but I am beginning to realize that one of the great things about being with other people all of the time is that you don’t have to be aware of or really know yourself. I’ve always been the kind of person that feels way more alone (not necessarily in a bad way at all) in a crowd, but I need to let go of that a bit. I need to re-know myself. So I’m trying, and I have found that I love watching movies and TV shows, which isn’t exactly news but I love watching lots of them more than I initially thought. So I’ve been doing that all the time, and it makes me so happy. In order to give you a taste of what I have been watching here is another clip from the most recent episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
That’s not my emotional state unless you think my emotional state is laughter tinged with a little bit of sadness cause that song is fucking brilliant. BUT ANYWAY, the most important thing about today is that I am picking you up in 8 hours. So get psyched. Fly safe! And get prepared for me to love you!