Essays on Boredom: What’s It Good For?

by Jamie Rice

Dearest Karine,

Hello, love. I am officially bored. After a week that was so action-packed and ridiculous, I mean I gave a 45-minute presentation on the technical production of video in the same week that I saw Colin Jost perform stand-up, I have finally found that sweet, sweet free time that I wanted so badly. Andddddddddd I’m bored.

I’m proud to say I look like this just wearing all black

I also want to let you know that I just googled “romantic musicals” and saw that Legally Blonde was on that list, so now I am listening to what is probably my favorite song from it. If you would like to listen along with me:

But I just realized that we haven’t checked in since Monday, and also that I’m not going to get to cuddle you this weekend! Ahhhh! How will I survive? No one knows, honestly, but I am certain that I will survive like I always do. (Isn’t that inspirational and sad at the same time?)

So my week. What happened? Ummmmmm, well I had stress dreams about these two presentations that I had to give, which is ridiculous considering how dumb they were in the scheme of my life, but they’re also hysterical. For example, I woke up on Tuesday morning and I literally sat up in bed and thought, “I don’t know what a bitmapped graphic is!” That is an actual thing that I did, Karina. So, if we ever wanted evidence that I’m a little off my rocker, then we’ve finally got it.

An actual slide from one of these presentations. It was about as much as you might imagine.

An actual slide from one of these presentations. It was about as much fun as you might imagine.

Otherwise, my week was mostly comprised of me running from random place to random place and panicking in that place in the kind of way that only I can (with too many jokes and manic laughter about the shit show that is my life). I would just like to let you know that I did so much work and useless crap this week that I just thoguht to myself, “What was the highlight of my week?” and I immediately responded, “When I went to get that Cookout milkshake for myself all alone after the Colin Jost show.” Oh, Karina, it was so fucking nice and relaxing. I loved it. Just me, the Hamilton soundtrack, and some yummy Oreos.

Which just reminded me, the girl who opened for Colin Jost was amazing, and she made the best random comment. She was like, “Sometimes as a girl I put a straw in my Cookout milkshake and I’m like, ‘Oh did these milkshakes get thinner or am I just getting really good at giving blowjobs?!'” Karina, you have to know that I obviously laughed embarrassingly loud at this joke. Seriously, everyone was like, “Why does this girl like blowjob jokes so much?”  And I was like:

Well actually the quote should be “Bitch, you don’t know my life!” but still.

Sorry if this post seems a little random, I’m just having a hard time coming up with other exciting things that I have done this week becuase I am just so bored. I corned Rachel and spoke at her for about 30 minutes about why (500) Days of Summer has been tragically misunderstood by sexist pigs for years and why this scene in particular is just fucking perfect for a reason that is not obvious. You know what I’ll lay those reasons out for you right now cause I’m bored, and I’ve got the timeeeeeeee:

“Tom Could be a Really Great Architect If He Wanted to be.”

There is a moment in this scene where Summer says, “Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be,” to which Tom makes some dumb joke, and then the camera turns to her reaction shot. Her look of disappointment in him. God, she looks at him like, “This was always the problem.” I just have to say that people don’t give that shot credit because it just shows that when he made that dumb joke about how he doesn’t chase after his dreams that affirmed to her exactly the reason why they could never really be together… which is fucking brilliant filmmaking.

“Cheating, Cheating, Cheating…”

This shot and song and moment have always floored me for a few reasons. First, when the camera begins to pan around and the panel which showed “Expectations” begins to get crushed is one of the best ways I’ve ever seen someone visually convey that everything is about to change for a character. Second, when the song begins to swell, and it closes in our her wedding ring just at the same moment that Regina Spektor says, “Cheating, cheating, cheating.” God, nothing else will ever really punched me in the heart gut like that. However….

Small Quibble

I actually really dislike the part where he gets onto the street, and he makes this elaborate gesture, which you come to realize is in reaction to a happy couple on the street. It’s just too much. If I was Marc Webb, the director, I would have gone understated with that. But still, a very good scene.

So, anyway… on the whole life is brilliant! Busy with dumb shit but brilliant! (Oh and by the way. I only got a B on that flyer I showed you… I KNOW YOU HAVE TO BE UPSET CAUSE THAT FLYER IS GORGEOUS. But whatever I understood her comments. They were valid.) I hope we both have amazing weekends because if not, we’re going to be making some pretty damn boring blog posts. #doitfortheblog

James xoxoxo

When you realize that this is something you can relate to now #FunFact