I HAD A GREAT DAY WHICH SHOUDLN’T BE WEIRD BUT HEY

by Jamie Rice

Dear Karine,

I had an excellent day, and it most certinly didn’t start as a fucking great day. I mean most days where you almost accidentally induce a panic attack at 1:30 pm don’t turn around, but it motherfucking did.

rachel bloom

I owned the day, just like Rachel Bloom owned the Golden Globes and got a second season for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend against all odds.

So anyway, I don’t know how to describe it, but my day just like turned fucking around. One moment I was questioning my entire existence and falling apart, and then the next I was on the top of the world like Leonardo Dicaprio at the Oscars this year.

leo

Our “readers” are starting to realize that we’re obsessed with Leonardo.

I had to change the title of this post because of it (That’s a big deal, dude). The OG title was “Why I’m So Weird About My Vagina,” which I probably should still figure out, but we’re gonna put that on the backburner because I don’t wanna go in on that with myself about that right now. I don’t wanna interrogate my childhood. No, you know what I want to do? Smile, bish!

So I’m motherfucking smiling. Deal with it, world.

bridesmaids i love you

Us

I feel like I’m supposed to give you some deep revelation about my life, but I don’t know what to say. I do have a weird story about my life though that you haven’t heard yet! I think it’s going to make you laugh too, so buckle up!

After class today I was walking to the library as I am known to do with the guy I was hooking up with (Who you have met now! Crazy!), and I said, “Guess who got laid this weekend?” and he immediately goes in for a really intense and enthusiastic high five with me. And I was like, “No, not me. Our friends, dude,” and he was like “Oh, I thought you were talking about you.”

Karina, this was simultaneously the most awesome and weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. I didn’t know that being “not exclusive” with someone also meant that we were congratulating on each other on getting ass with other people, but it does. So… Cool? (I guess!)

high five

YAY FOR HAVING SEX IN GENERAL I GUESS! (I chose Pam and Jim cause like… I have problems)

But outside of that, I just think that life is good. I’ve basically gotten over any of the sad emotional reprocusions of my Sundance romance, it was a lovely moment in time and that’s all it will ever be, and I’m finally starting to come back to the sobering reality of singledom again. I have to let you know, nothing seems to have changed over here, and we all know that I’m really good at being single. (I did it for three years in a row with a lot of success!)

Basically, I’m reachieving stasis and happy about it. More updates to come, dear.

I love, I love , I love you (Name that film!)

James xoxoxo

P.S.

sam hunt

Same.

Advertisements