Exhaustion & Impatience: My Life Story

by karinaaax03

Dear James,

What a beauteous weekend we had! So much brunching and drinking like the proper millennials that we are. I’m so, so glad you came to visit and we got to play in the city like big kids! I’d say we made the most of it for sure, especially since we crashed like a couple grandma’s by Sunday night. We pretty much nailed a weekend in the city, props to us.

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When I sat down in my cube this morning I realized that I have a pretty busy week. As in, I have 3 different interviews in the span of 2 days and my aunt is coming to visit. If you can’t tell, I’m really hustling trying to get something set up for April when I become unemployed. This hustle, however, goes strictly against what I’ve been trying to tell myself, which was chill out and take some time off. It seems I’m not physically capable of being the type of person who just “takes some time off.”

Even though I’ve been trying to tell myself to find some chill and relax for like, at least a fucking week, it seems that’s impossible for me. Half the time, I’m sitting at my desk actively telling myself not to search the “jobs” tag on LinkedIn, and then no more than 10  minutes later I’m on a full blown job search with 7 tabs open. I’m clearly lacking self control.

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This dog has significantly more self control than me.

This probably has a lot to do with my chronic impatience. I remember once, one of my horseback riding trainers told me that I was too patient, which I found hilarious. The fact of the matter is, when it comes to myself and time-sensitive things, I’m wildly, obnoxiously, inappropriately impatient. When it comes to cutting other people slack, however, I seem to have endless slack to give. Fuck me, am I right?

Fair warning on life: When people ask for a 4th chance, it’s time to stop giving them so many goddamn chances. But nope, I’m not bitter or anything.

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You when I talk about the same things 10000000000 times.

To be frank, I’m already growing impatient with myself right now because it’s taking me too long to write this post that contains so few words. Maybe one day I’ll learn to be patient with myself. Today, unfortunately, is certainly not that day.

Goodnight and goodbye.

xoxo

The Basic One

 

 

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