Hey, West Covina! You’re Killing Me, West Covina!

by Jamie Rice

Dearest Karine,

I would like to begin this blog post with a song. A song that speaks to my heart. (You like have to listen to it or else… I will be very sad… #threats)

This song is inspired by Billy Joel and I know you like Vienna, so please listen to it!

Okay, I’m assuming that by now you have listened to it.

But yeah, Idk why, considering the fact that on paper I am crushing it, but that is how I currently feel about both Elon and Tulsa (also this is explains my blog post title). That’s mostly just how I’m feeling in general. I know that you tried watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and didn’t get that far, but this character, my beloved Greg, has a lot of frustrations that I relate to often. He hates that he is in love with someone who doesn’t notice how awesome he is (been there), and he’s trying so hard to achieve things. This is Greg describing his feelings for Rebecca: “I still like you… and I know I shouldn’t. I don’t want to. You’re not that nice to me… and you’re weird. And I tell myself to stop thinking about you, but every time you show up, it’s like BOOM! Feelings!” Like that is literally me all of the time.

I’m also in love with Santino Fontana now… not sorry

Today, on the airplane, I just listened to sad music and stared forward for 45 minutes straight. The people in my aisle must have thought that I was possessed or some shit. 

Me looking at Greg looking at Rebecca being in love. And me being in love with that and realizing I look at people like that. It’s hard to explain.

Maybe I’ve got romntic whiplash? Maybe it’s from recieving a preemptive sex rejection from a man I’ll never see in person? Who really knows. All I really truly know is that… I think I’m feelng a little lost. A little without a tether. It’s probably just because for the first time in a long time I thought of myself as a part of a unit (or at least considered it). And now I have lost that unit, but I still kind of like it even though I know it’s useless to me.

Maybe it’s something completely different. I can’t say with certainty.

That’s what we in the biz call “a kiss” (I’m sorry I just have been googling this man for hours)

I’m sure it’s just a hormonoal low patch (or, at least, I hope it is), but I’m just feeling kind of low. Kind of like nothing. Life is still amazing, and I’m enoying it, but at the same time occasionally it rings hollow. It’s kind of like boredom conbined with dispondancy with a slight dash of (completly not valid) self loathing.

Ehhhh we’ll make it through though. Especially with the help of beautiful men gifs (AM I RIGHT LADIES… I’m disgusted with myself)

Fuck me, Ben.

All the love in the world,



Bonus Ben cause I found such a good one:

You slimy bastard that I want to have sex with.