Jamie on Rules and Standards
by Jamie Rice
Sexy title, am I right?
But back to the title (and then my life), I think we shoud have rules! And with those rules I think that we should have punishments. (Btw I’m watching Long Island Medium in an attempt to feel closer to you spiritually.) I mean, obviously, our blog is going to be as succesful if not more succesful than Vlogbrothers, so we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard. Life ourselves up, if you will. I will not pretended to know what these rules should be, but I think it is pretty obvious that missing your day would come with a fun type of punishment (Currently I’m thinking you should have to do an embarrassing Dubsmash and post it on the blog, but I am open to anything).
Now that we got the boring housekeeping over, let’s talk turkey (or Easter). It was gooooood. Mostly. Except for the fact that I accidentally got Beverly to go on a weird speech that continue all night about what it means to grow old. This occurred because I am an asshole, as you know, especially around family/at family functions. So I thought it would be funny to ask my mom how it felt to be old to which she responded with an equally dickish response. However, Beverly took this very seriously. She pulled me aside and went, “For the longest time, Jamie, I didn’t feel old, but the last two years have been rough.” Literally, the minute she said that I did a huge internal “Fuck meeeeee.”
Oh, another weird thing that happened at Easter was that my mother brought up Thomas. Odd. She was like, “Isn’t Thomas’ mother from Missisippi?” And I was like, “Yes, I think so.” Very odd occurrence, indeed. I don’t even know what to do with that. I was also telling my parents all about Sundance, and I think that my mother knows about Jasper (or at least thinks that I used to have a crush on him), which is actually hysterical.
Otherwise, nothing too exciting happened. I finished watching Mad Men and started watching Gilmore Girls (BIG CHANGES IN MY LIFE, KARINE), and nothing else has really happened. I went to the vagina doctor twice because I have problems with my vagina (meaning I have issues worrying about my vagina, not actual vagina problems–important distinction). I have also been informed by both you and my mother that I say the word vagina too much. However, I think it is impossible to use the word too much when you have one, so take that!
Otherwise, I’m feeling pretty excited to finish up the last 6 weeks of school. I think I am actually starting to get kind of psyched out by the whole concept. I can’t really explain why, but there is something really daunting about getting on that plane tomorrow morning. I think it might just be that I have officially dealt with all of this sex/romance bull shit, like I feel clear of it, and it’s just me against Elon (not necessarily, but you know what I mean). I’ve got six more weeks of college, and I got to figure out what to do with that. I mean I’ll definitely freak out, but how I will freak out… that is still a mystery! (Get psyched! I know you love mystery shows!)
I think I’ll stop here because I got to leave some stuff for tomorrow’s post…. oops. THINK OF PUNISHMENTS!