If You See ’em in the Streets Give ‘Em Kanye’s Best
by Jamie Rice
I am trying to be more aware of my feelings, so I have decided that today I am going to use this space for self-reflection about both my day and my emotions. (Let’s hope that this only goes to good places.)
Soooooooo, this weekend was very lovely! I spent most of it hanging out with Rachel and her cute little sister Rhetta. I attempted to not terrify her, but she seemed to warm very nicely to my manic personality and cordially invited me to visit all of the Weeks girls in Thomasville any time, which I cannot wait to do. (She also said that she thought I was very funny, which is obviously one of the highest compliments you can pay a girl like me. I enjoy her a lot.)
Other than that I got to hangout with Avalon this Saturday. It was lovely. We just sat around and did homework for a bit and then she watched Steve Jobs with me. A very lovely afternoon, indeed. After this, I decided to go to a party with actual real live human beings. It was fairly nice. An odd man that was obsessed with being a gentleman asked me for my phone number and kissed me. And I mean kiss. He didn’t make out with me. Literally, we just kissed. It was…interesting. I mean this dude was obviously not for me, but I gave him a shot in the name of good fun and being young. And in the name of my punk rock decision to accept/try love. No one can say that I’m not open. Considering this man asked me to dance to “Ultralight Beam” by Kanye West, and I said yes. This is the song:
Tell me how to dance to that song, and I’ll gladly do it.
Sunday was another lovely excursion with the even more lovely Weeks sisters before I interviewed Dan and Eric (and actually had dinner with the latter as well). On the whole, it was a lovely weekend. It was almost paint-by-numbers, textbook excellent.
Now, we have done the retelling of the day part, but we haven’t done the emotions. So… they were good actually. The only moment that I really had of instability was when I was talking to Eric, and he seemed so clearly jealous of the relationship that Jasper and I had/are currently having. He was like, “Wow, that level of freedom and honesty is amazing,” which I guess I agree with, but at the same time, I am still a little trepidatious of embracing this in the way that he did.
I think the problem is that Eric is in a long term relationship that he feels like isn’t ideal for him at the current moment, which makes him see my experience through rosy glasses. However, I lived it, and while there were some truly high highs (making out at the premiere of Sing Street and my happy birthday kiss will live in my mind as perfect romantic moments for the rest of my life), it just didn’t work out. This means that while Eric can sit around and romanticize my past relationship, see the good things, and dream, I can only see it for what it was: a good time that was cut short by timing among an endless list of factors that I will never know about.
BUT, this is all okay. I understand that it’s always simple to look at an outside relationship and completely misunderstand, and I also understand that my life ain’t quite as peachy as people assume. However, that doesn’t mean that all is not well or that life is not lit.
So far, it seems the self-reflection is working. Let’s hope that this trend continues, overall.