AHHHHHHHHHH!

by Jamie Rice

Dear Karine,

screaming

I just realized that I didn’t write my blog post, and I am not going to do a punishment first! I refuse!

So I’m gonna brief you on my life entire in 45 minutes with minimal effort exerted!

Update: I am losing my mind! I told you all about the stupid boy things that I had in my life, but I have to reiterate that I hate boys. I am straight and embarrassed by it. I want to renounce them. You know what? Fuck it. I renounce them. All of them. CONSIDER THEM RENOUNCED!

Otherwise, I am pretty fine. Class is good. Work is good. Future is good. I cried myself to sleep last night (Wait, what? Let’s just breeze past that one).

I am trying to come up with more words to say because I am a shitty blogger who doesn’t plan ahead, and I will not be punished! No punishment here! Taking up words!

Let’s talk about something else! How about the fact that this child over the internet that I will never meet might like actually like me. I am serious. I think this kid might actually have an affection for me. (You know how it is. The 19-year-olds can’t help but come over to my yard.) The reason I say that is because he has taken to messaging me about how sad and alone he is, and how he just wants to find a good gf and settle down. So great. This random kid feels comfortable enough to tell me about his problems. Great. Can only end well.

In other news, my new favorite past time is saying nice things to Rachel that make her cry of happiness. I have also initiated her into the family to which she responded with this message:

rachel text

So that’s fun!

And I reached the word count before midnight! MOTHER. FUCKING. BOOM.

scott pilgrim boom

BOOM

All the loving,

James

xoxoxo

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