by Jamie Rice

Dear Karine,

Of course, I forgot to write my blog post to you because your salty ass has been living in my butthole for the last few days. So while I might still be awaiting the punishment for 2, count them 2, fucking blog posts, I am also going to attempt to update you on my emotional state!

Anyway, I think I’m generally fine. I, as you know, have been having a hard time keeping myself from reflecting on my short-lived winter fling. Basically, at all moments, I just have to try and convince myself that one day I will meet a man who doesn’t treat me like his manic pixie dream girl, but until then…


Otherwise, I am completely over the moon about the fact that I finally get to leave North Carolina and never look back. It isn’t necessarily a bad state, although that HB2 shit is fucked up, but I am definitely ready to move to CA (even though I also know that nothing there will be perfect either). Sometimes, you just gotta believe that the grass will be greener on the other side and move resolutely forward.

In other news, I have been getting beyond lit for the fact that we basically just get ot have fun and be drunk for the next few days, and I have been thinking about different fun ways to do it. Currently, I got:

By the pool:

In the home:

And in public:

The same level of embarrassment as normal

And after that stunt you pulled at dinner, I just want you to know that you better get ready because my embarssment of you will come when you least expect it…

All the love in the world,



P.S. You’re a butthoole

P.P.S. Pray for our livers